10 Tips for Plane Anxiety

It feels weird to even call it plane anxiety. It’s not just that you’re anxious or feeling sweaty palms. If you are a “nervous flier” like me, you know that when you board that plane or even on your way to the airport, you literally literally feel like you’re going to die. Every bump in the sky or slightest bit of turbulence your stomach will drop and you start to feel like your world is ending. I know the exact feeling. In fact, I know it so well that in April 2024, I swore I would never again get on a plane. Ever.

What’s ironic is that I used to love to fly. Every year from age 8 months till 19, I went on at least 4 planes per year, transatlantic flights, short ones, on all different sorts of planes. At age 20, I even went sky diving. I literally jumped out of a plane. Never once did it cross my mind that I’d be so scared to fly I’d go as far as to cancel a trip. I cried the whole way home from Tokyo to Hawaii, Honolulu to Kauai, and Kauai to LA before deciding to just drive from LA to New York because my anxiety completely got the best of me.

It controlled every single aspect of my life. Every day I thought about all the trips I could be taking if I could just fly again. I even planned out a six month South America itinerary leaving from Boston that didn’t include flights at all. Obviously not the most sound plans, but it made sense to me. Until one day I realized enough was enough. My life revolves around air travel and I had to face it. I know the fear, I know the worry, but it does get better! (I’m writing this from Mexico City + I flew here!!)

Here are some things that I did to help with coping.

1) No Checked Bag

Once you check your bag, you have to get on the plane. When I cancelled my trip to Europe, I didn’t make it past bag check because I was too in my head about it. By not checking a bag, I told myself that I could still change my mind up to the gate. It just takes the pressure off. You don’t even have to think about security or anything because it’s all still optional. Once at the gate, then you can face your anxiety without feeling the weight of pressure that you’re things will get to your destination without you.

Other people might say it’s important to check a bag because then you have to get on the plane. For me, it was about feeling trapped in my plan. Packing light and having everything on my person helped. Also, the extra stress of the airline losing your bag is gone because you have it!

2) Exposure Therapy

I went to sleep listening to airplane sounds. I imagined myself in the plane a thousand times, or at least, until I didn’t feel closed in by the feeling. I also watched like… hundreds of TikToks created by people who LOVE flying. I watched these girls who travel all over the world (aka the girl I used be). I also watched my old travel videos that I made before all my travel trauma and remembered (or tried to remember) how much fun I used to have. I channeled the little 5-year-old girl in me who used to jump on airplanes so excited to see her grandparents who lived a 7 hour flight away.

3) Gaslighting Yourself

You love flying. You don’t even know why you’re reading this article because you are someone who loves flying. Write it down. Say it out loud to someone. Say it in the mirror, in the shower, on your drive to the airport. You are someone who loves flying.

4) Airsickness

I didn’t realize that someone who experiences motion sickness (aka me) will also get sick when in the air. I feel so much nausea, especially when I get on a plane on an empty stomach. I confuse the nausea with anxiety and it makes me feel even worse. I bought Airsickness bands off of amazon (click for link) and they helped so much, even if it was just a placebo effect. Also EAT. I always forget to eat and it exacerbates the anxiety. If you are flying on an empty stomach, you’ll feel worse, you have to eat (even if you don’t feel like eating!) Make yourself completely full. Completely.

5) No Shame in the Medicine Game

Dramamine. Diazepam. Benadryl. NyQuil. Alcohol. Anything that will help you to calm down or sleep. DON’T MIX! Remember that altitude affects your body and also what you put in your body. No shame in the medicine game, however you have to take into account the side effects. Don’t ever mix Dramamine with alcohol, or diazepam with anything else. For me a single tablet of Dramamine usually does the trick for a short flight or some diazepam for a longer flight. Make sure you accurately read the dosage on these.

6) Praying

I don’t even care to who, just put your troubled mind somewhere else. Give your stress to the universe and let it all go.

7) Flight Attendants

They wouldn’t do this job if it weren’t safe. Neither would pilots. People wouldn’t fly at all if it weren’t safe. Look to them when you’re nervous. They’re likely chatting away with each other without a care in the world. During turbulence, look to how they react. Likely laughing. If they aren’t scared, neither should you be.

8) Don’t Let Anxiety Control Your Life

Don’t wait to live until you’re facing death. Think about something when you land, anything. For me getting to Miami from Boston last week, I told myself I’d reward myself by going to the beach and jumping in the ocean. Getting from Miami to Mexico, I told myself I’d reward myself with a beer when I landed and also a glass of red wine and also a taco. Literally whatever. I also looked forward to meeting my friend in Mexico City whom I hadn’t seen in a long time. You can’t let your anxiety control you. Think about how you want to be remembered. I thought about what people might say at my funeral, morbid as it sounds. It would go something like this, “She had such a thirst for life, then developed a fear of planes, and died… thirsty.” I don’t want to die with my thirst for seeing the world unquenched. I’m the only person who can change my life.

9) NO COFFEE

None. At least 3 days before the flight. Especially if you’re the kind of person who feels anxious the days leading up to the flight. From the moment I book my flight until the day that I feel the first pang of anxiety about it, no more coffee. Caffeine doesn’t do anything but exacerbate anxiety. I drink anything else, a smoothie, juice, decaffeinated coffee (if I’m 100% sure it’s decaf I.e. only if I make it myself). No caffeine. None. Think of it as a potential reward for when you land!

10) Give Yourself Boundaries

For example, my boundaries are: no more than one flight per week and no more than 4 hour flights (the only exception is transatlantic and Hawaii). When you give yourself boundaries, you know where your comfort level is. I never have to worry about taking a 16 hour flight because I’ll simply never be on one. I’ll travel as slow as I need to to take care of my mental health while still pushing myself into the world.

Bonus tip to remember:

It’s okay to take breaks from traveling if you need to.

Travel is supposed to be fun!!!