I Moved! Again!

In case this is the first blog post of mine you’ve ever read: Hi, I’m Deirdre and I move. A Lot. I have lived in Los Angeles (CA), Honolulu (HI), Las Vegas (NV), Portsmouth (NH), Southampton (NY), and about a billion hostels in between when traveling the world. There is a big difference though between hostel living and renting. There’s a world of difference between travelling and moving. 13 days ago I moved to Ireland. It’s been… significantly harder than I expected it to be. There’s a massive housing crisis for starters. All of my friends have jobs and social lives, two things that I don’t have. Moving to a new place means starting over again and that typically means having to take a few giant leaps backwards to build yourself up again.

I’m okay with steps backwards, usually, I don’t know why it’s hitting so hard these days. Usually, when I move, at least a few things work out for me, even if everything doesn't. If I can’t find a job, I’ll be able to find an apartment. If I can’t buy a car, I’ll be able to find employment. Here though… I fear I’m a little out of my depth. I’ve moved a lot around the US and I’ve done plenty of international travel, but moving countries? That’s a first. The few people I have confided in have been shocked that I’m having such a difficult adjustment period because typically I get myself set up in just a few days. I decided to move to LA and had a job and an apartment all within 5 days. I don’t like to waste time. Here, I feel like everything is so much slower. People hire slower, don’t get back to you about apartments or cars slower. There’s also far less… everything. In LA, if you don’t get the first apartment you apply for, you’ll get the next one. I was able to schedule 3 viewings in one day and ended up taking the first one. There’s plenty of opportunity for subletting and Facebook deals, same as in Hawaii. Here, with the lack of housing, there’s really no option but to go by the book. I’m not really big for doing that. My very first car that I bought, I met a guy in an alleyway by myself at age 20 in Honolulu and zelled him $1,300 and drove away. Things in the US (or at least in the US cities I’ve lived in) are just more… easy.

I thought (naively) that once I had my EU passport I’d be sorted. I think that I envisioned a walk in the park because I’ve done this so many times. I couldn’t even tell you how many times I’ve packed up my bag with my worldly belongings and hit the road. I guess I didn’t account for the adjustment period. Everything’s different over here. I listen to people speaking English on the train and I can’t understand them because Irish accents can be so thick and they talk so fast. I didn’t realize I’d be taxed 50% of any check I get because I don’t have my PPS number yet. I didn’t even realize how difficult it would prove to get one of those. I thought that because I have been to Ireland so many times in the past (this is my 4th time just this year) that I knew everything I needed to know and that I’d be fine. I will be fine, but I certainly am learning something new every single day.

I think my advice for anyone who wants to move country is to actually research everything you need before going. Think about what it will actually be like to live there. I feel like I jumped on a plane with a glass of wine in my hand and called it a day. Then I landed and had absolutely nothing lined up. Rookie mistake for a pro to make, I know, but confidence got the best of me and knocked me down more than I care to admit. It’s been two weeks now and I have some things in the works. I’m going to try like hell to get my PPS number tomorrow so I can keep more than half of my check. I’m going to get into a routine, focus on my volunteer work, my blog. If I could go back though, even to a month ago, I would think long and hard about the reality and logistics of actually being here. I hate cold, rain, and wind. Why didn’t I move to Porto? I don’t even remember making this decision, it was just something I wanted to try, I suppose. I think it’s important to stay though, now that I’m here. Past me must have had legitimate reasoning for wanting this and I owe it to her to give this country a try. At least until Christmas. For now, I think I’ll hold off on the year long lease.

That’s what makes it so hard though. I am always one foot in the door and one foot out. Maybe it’s just the nature of how I was raised, the aftermath of my early twenties where I found my back against the wall a few times, but I never enter any situation anymore with a clear exit strategy. This goes for jobs, cities, travel plans, friendships, romantic relationships, ventures, etc. There’s always a clear exit plan because I never want to find myself trapped again, but this leads to many half-assed executions of plans. It leads to experiences only being felt with half my heart, distracted because I’m thinking of how to leave. Even on things as simple as nights out. I feel like I can’t even go clubbing anymore because I’m debating on when is the best time to go. On a larger scale, I moved to Ireland 13 days ago and am giving myself until Christmas till I can go. I have exit strategies for jobs I haven’t even gotten yet. What a mad way to live.

It’s all in the rush of new experiences though, I’m glad that I feel like I’m still learning and growing. I may be pretty seasoned when it comes to moving, but these last two weeks have made me realize there’s a long way to go.

There’s also a lot to look forward to xx